Archive for the ‘Rants & Raves’ Category

picture this

Picture this: My husband and I, happily strolling at the mall and just going about our shopping business when suddenly three children between the ages of 7 and 10 surfaced in front of us. No big deal, right? Except these children were pointing their fingers at me, calling me “baldy” while laughing their hearts out. Funny – not. Grabbing my husband’s hand and ignoring the children, we ran to the nearest shop for refuge. Lo and behold, the children ran after us to continue laughing at me and calling me names. Where were their parents when I needed them? And why can’t things like this happen in secluded places where there won’t be people to witness me butcher these children? Fortunately we were relatively near our parking space, so we ran towards our car like I was running after my sanity.
(more…)

Advertisements

Dad and Me

ALZHEIMER’S.

I went to my parents’ house yesterday morning and this was how I was welcomed…

I asked my mom if they had breakfast already, she said yes and that she already went upstairs to my dad’s room to give him his breakfast as well. I then went up to my dad’s room for a quick check.

DAD: I’m going to die here. I may be dead already.
(more…)

mom and me

Three in the afternoon, I texted my mom that I was home alone and that I was unusually craving for vegetables and fish for dinner; just a random text message to pass time by. Half an hour later, I received a text message from my mother: is it ok if she comes over to bring me the vegetables and fish I was craving for? Hell yes!

And at that very instance, it dawned on me how close my relationship with my mom has become over the past months. I have never felt this good about being someone’s daughter and this grateful to still have a mother to call my own. (more…)

Some people simply wince, frown, roll their eyes, make a fist, probably gnash their teeth, or groan a little louder than usual when annoyed, in wonder, negatively amused, or maybe feeling resigned, but me? I scratch my bald head. I hold on to my scalp with one hand as though some profound wisdom will dawn on me by doing this, in the hopes that I would have my answers to all these things that puzzles me. This past week, these are a few of the thoughts that made me: (more…)

images

I came across this poem I wrote almost a decade ago, right after “The Untold”, when my second chance at life has not sunk in yet (I committed suicide more than a decade ago, The Final Stitch). This was how I saw the world then; a world full of suffering, hatred and guilt. It was a world full of evil.

(more…)

IMG_0002

1st of June, 1999 was when it all started – my rebirth, my second life. I killed myself. Grabbed a blade and slashed my wrist countless times. I made a crucifix figure on my wrist. I thought that will do the trick… and it did… almost.

My suicide note was this: (more…)

As soon as my laptop comes to life, the first window I usually open is often dedicated to my Facebook account, my stalking prowess always getting the better of me. I wasn’t too surprised to see my newsfeed invaded by an assortment of pictures of all sorts of flowers, in all sorts of colours. Almost felt like the twilight zone, except it was Valentine’s Day. I fought the urge to run to the nearest garden in my neighbourhood and snap pictures of their flowers just so I could upload my share as well, or not. Between the lovely flower pictures, some of my Facebook friends have actually managed to squash in a few dinner pictures. Great, they ordered steak for Valentine’s! How sweet is that?

(more…)